101 ways to humiliate, or torture
by Vampire Meep
Summary: a list of 101 ways to humiliate,or torture, the characters of twilight!I love twilight just think this is going to be really funny. Please read! My firnd Hay Lin Rox is co writeing!
1. Jacob Black

101 ways to kill, torture and humialte Jacob Black.

My friend Hay hin rox ( that's her penname on fan fiction she is a very talented writer help me write this story many of these was her idea.

1. Demon stapler

2. give him a box of chocolate with yummy grenade centers

3. Have him "fixed"

4. Drop 10 tons of apples on him.

5. Get all the other werewolves to get super pissed at him

6. bring him to the Voultri

7. strap him to a rocket headed to the sun

8. Strap him to a rocket headed to Mars

9. super glue and duck type his feet to the sidewalk underneath the empire state building then drop a penny on him from the top

10. pour honey on him then throw 5000 red ants on him\

11. Flamethrower

12. rocket launcher

13. Have Edward drain him of blood.

14. force him in a doggy cage and drop it in a volcano

15. make Emmet bear hug him to death

16. Casually drop personal letters to Jacob from Planned parenthood about coming gin for an appointment to talk about going on the pill

17. Have Carlisle perform "surgery" on him

18. Shot nails at him with a nail gun

19. Have birdies peck out his eyes

20. Force him to watch a tellitubby marathon

21. Bring him to candy mountain just like Charlie the unicorn

22.Hang him buy his toes by a large pit of bears.

23. stuff his head in a locker

24. make him read watership down

25. Bring him to a gay strip club with Edward Cullen as the main event (a/n yes I know that would NEVER happen!)

26. have all the werewolves think about bunnies hopping peacefully in a meadow.

27. make him drink blood

28. Run him over with a train

29. Dress him up like a girl

30. Have him imprint with Sam

31. Make him kiss Emily so then Sam kills him

32. Make him wear a thong

33. Force him to listen to the entire Britney spears CD

34. make him watch Bella and Edward kiss

35. Place him in a very elaborate corn maze that he will never get out

36. SUPER glue him to a chair and force him to listen to the Wiggles CD

37. drop a 1000 ton rock on him

38. stick his head in a pickle far

39. Inject him with AIDs then malaria

40. Hide all his cloths

41. Force him to take a bubble bath, and then post pictures of it on the web

44. Give him a baby bottle in fount of his friends

45. Take him scuba diving then steal his air tank

46. Trap him in a revolving door

47. Make him listen to a audio book of the dictionary

48. Hit him with a dictionary

49. tell everyone he is emo

50. Tell everyone he has an STD

51. Tell everyone he has the BIGGEST crush on Justin Timberlake

52. Strangle him with a public bag

53. Superglue a teddy bear to his head, a pink teddy bear with sparkles and pretty purple ponies

54. Push him in a pool of maxi pads

54. Stick his head in a bee hive

55. Push him in a pool of maple syrup

56. Repeatedly kick him in the private area

57. Superglue fake fangs to his mouth

58. Superglue Edward to him

59. Pretend to kill Bella but make it so he thinks Bella is dead

60. superglue a thong to his butt

61. Dress him up like Jessica Simpson in his sleep and take a picture and post it on myspace

62. Have him pour water on a kitty …you know what happens next

63. Get a tattoo on him that says " I love Barney" On his forehead (a/n you know the big purple dinosaur"

64. Smother tampons with maple syrup and throw them on the back of his shirt when he is not paying attention.

65. Hide all his money in a box of tampons

66. Hack into his email and talk about how much he loves Nick Jonas and how it sucks that he couldn't het back stage tickets to the concert

67. Force him in a halter top and mini shirt then take him to the mall where all the popular people go.

68. Change his ringtone to Hannah Montana's Nobodys perfect

69. atomic bomb

70. Put hair removal cream in his shampoo

72. Place blue dye in his showerhead so when he showers he will become blue

73. Drip hot sauce in his mouth while he is asleep

74. make him watch big bunny

75. Feed him baby food

75. Force him to watch Edward and Bella do-it after their wedding

76. place itching powder on his toilet paper

77. Hit him mover the head with a titanium enhanced chair

78. Instead of the silent treatment give him the talk until I wanna commit suicide treatment

79. Have Billy give him the talk

80. Put vinegar in his drink

81. Put pheromones in his washing detergent (a/n 100 my friends idea, I don't know what that is)

82. When he turns werewolf dumb hair removal cream on him

83. Put a collar on him that has his name address etc on it

84. Post posters of kittens in his room

85. Push him off a cliff

86. Drown him in hot cocoa

87. Shave off his eyebrows.

88. super glue high heels to his feet.

89. Bring him bowling and put super glue in the holes of the bowing ball

90. Force him to cook

91. Force him to wear a bikini

92. Superglue him to Sam

93. Spread rumor the he likes to bake

94. paint his toenails pink with sparkles

95. Kick him in the head

96. Cut his private area off bake it into a pie then force him to eat it (a/n I did not make this one!! My friend did!)

97. Slit his wrists then post picture up saying he is emo.

98. make him listen to Bella singing the song "I know a song that gets on everybody's nerves" over and over

99.pluck all his eyelashes

100. wax his eyebrows and "accidentally" take them both off

101. Post this whole list on the web which we already did! \

There 101 ways, do you want me to keep writing more lists or do you want me to make other chapter but with other character from twilight getting humiated ? Drop a review.


	2. Bella Swan

I love Bella, Edward and all the Cullens but I'm a schadefruede ( means I have glee at another's misfortune) and again my wonderful friend hay Lin Rox helped me with this story!! You really have to check out her story called "All's fair In Love and War"! It rocks!! Reasons y Hay Lin Rox is awesome 1. She is smart, 2 . she is nice , and kool. 3. And etc etc I can't name ALL the reasons it would be too long.

1. Tell her Edward is having an affair with Jacob

2. Steal one of her bras and post it on the school bullion board, with her name attached

3. Keep saying Meep

4. Spread rumors that she has a collection of care bears

5. Strangle her with a red ribbon

6. Hide all her tampons and pads

7. Post all her love poems about Edward on the internet (a/n if she wrote any)

8. Bring her to a house of mirrors HAHA! She will never find he way out and she will crash into the mirrors

9. Superglue her fingers together

10. Tell her that Jacob died

11. Make her kill Jacob

12. Tell her Edward has left for good

13. Put dog poo in her shampoo

14. Force her to listen to heavy metal!

15. Have Alice take her shopping

16. Shave her bald

17. Force to get a sex change operation

18. Force her to read this list

19. Get Joanna pissed at her( read hay lin roxs new story called" all's fair in love and war))

20. Push her off a plane

21. Lock her in a warehouse full of flesh-hungry zombies

22. Lock her in a room with a very pissed of Jacob

23. Wax her armpits

24. Inject her with the t-virus (from Resident Evil)

25. Make her listen to the RENT soundtrack

26. Drop a vending machine on her

27. Use her as bait for shark fishing!

28. Force her to watch ratatouille over and over!

29. Have Jacob start singing assuming he is the tone-deaf type.

30. Make her watch Jacob and Edward make out at a gay strip club 9a/n just kidding Edward would never do that Jacob on the other hand………………Jk.)

31. Take her on a road trip and drive and make jokes till she piddles herself.

32. Watch a death battle between Jacob, and Edward, where they somehow end up making out in the end

33. Find the most boring science video ever, with a monotonous speaker and force her to watch it over and over, pitching her and pulling her hair to keep her from falling asleep.!

36. Make her dissect a cow's eye

37. Poke her with a pencil

38. Poke her with a very hot branding iron that says "I hate Edward"

39. Kick her

40. smother her in honey , then Swarm of bees …….

41. Make her hug a sharp jagged rock

42. Pour hot cocoa on her

43. Put ice down her pants

44. Have her knit something,…she will end up poking her eye out.

45. Have her babysit little 5 year olds that are also vamps.

46. Dye her hair pink

47. Makeover time!

48. have her babysit 5 year olds normal ones

49. Have Edward bite her in public

50. Pelt her with apples

51. staple her to a wall

52. make her play solitaire till her eyes fall out

53. Superglue red contacts to her eyes

54. Give her a paper cut

55. Tell her Victoria is alive again

56. Prank call her pretending to be Victoria saying that you're in her closet

57. Use dark magic to make her into an ice cream cone.

58. stick a Kick me or Kiss me sign on her back!

59. Pants her

60. Draw a mustache on her face with sharpie marker.

61. While she is asleep dress her up like Paris Hilton

62. Make her read the 101 ways list about Jacob.

63. Boil her to death

64. Make her kiss Mike

65. Make her kiss mike's feet

66. Make her wear a diaper

67. Staple her tongue to a piece of paper

68. Put Formaldehyde in her drink (Formaldehyde is a clear liquid used to preserve dead bodies)

69. Put her embarrassing baby pictures.

70. Loosen the bottom of her back pack so everything falls out

71. Have Charlie shoot Edward.

72. Have her bubble bath in super glue

73. Give her fleas

74. give her ticks

75. give her a pet snake

76. make her listen to the same song over and over again.

77. make her smell sweaty gym socks

78. Replace her cloths during gym with a ballerina outfit

79. Have everyone in gym hit her with basket balls.

79. Pierce her nose

80. Superglue her house key to her head

81. Push her down the stairs

82. Have her pull a cat's tail………

83. Put a sign on her back that says " I like big butts"

84. Make her listen to 5 year olds play the violin

85 Drop a bass on her. ( the instrument )

86. Hit her with a bass ( the fish )

87. Put red paint on her pants so it looks like she got her "." ( girls u know what . is, I put . cuz boys might read this..)

88. Put a dead bird in her car

89. Tie her to a railroad track

90. Shot her with a water gun filled with vinegar

91. Write her phone number in the guys bathroom at a 7/11

92. Prank call her at 1 o'clock in the morning

93. Superglue her window shut so Edward cannot get in

94. Have Alice dress her up like a baby

95. Make her go cliff diving again

96. Make her tell Billy Black about her plans to have Edward turn her

97. Wax her legs

98. Cover her in maple syrup then feathers and then make her do the chicken dance!

99. Push her into a riptide

100. make her write an essay about how hot Edward is then show it to the class!

101!! Post this list on her school's bulletin board font size 72

There another chapter done. What character should I do next? Drop some ideas on how to humiliate or torture them!


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